How do you value time and money?

I had a very honest conversation today with a fellow dad. You see we both have been touched by a cancer experience. An experience that touches the heart of every parent.

Well for both of us it was our eldest sons who were in treatment.
Our boys were born with in 20 months of each other.
Both our boys spent much time in Princess Margaret Children’s Hospital.
Both our boys lived in the Oncology Ward, known affectionately as “3B”.

We both remember “Dave” the amazing nurse, who looked like a tough bikie dud, yet kind and gentle to all the kids and a little stern with us dads.

We both recall spending nights sleeping on the parent retreat lounges.

The kitchen, where parents would share their story and their pain, yet not needing the formality of names, we just connected.

We both recall the pain of witnessing the suffering of small children, some infants.

We both shared the gratefulness of the amazing doctors and nursing staff.

The life savers.

Those 4 years were some of my darkest.
Some of my most painful.
Feeling totally powerless.

Crying myself to sleep most nights. Preying, wishing, pleading for the higher being to take me in exchange for my son.

I remember the nights blaming myself for my son’s illness.

“If only I was a better dad, if only. I promise I’ll never do anything wrong again. I promise to be a model citizen. Please don’t punish him any more. He’s just a child.”

My practice. It was during these darkest moments that I turned to my practice to maintain my sanity. To maintain my daily routine. A space to process.

I questioned. I questioned what was important in life. I recalibrated my value of time and money, career, business. Even the definition of family. Turns out we get to choose who we call family.

In my experience it’s important that we actively choose, regardless of whether we are biologically related or not.
Relationships need feeding, nurturing.
Repair after injury and hurt if we want them to survive.
Just like all things living.

Not my story.

My story is a drop in the ocean.

It’s your story that is powerful. You don’t need to wait for a life threatening experience to recalibrate. You can do this anytime. You can do this now.

My practice saved my sanity.

When my son was 9 (2 years after his last chemo), he turned to me one day and said…..

He’s 23 now.

Thanks for sharing.

Cya.

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