When Executive Function Fails

Executive Function helps us get things done. Time management, planning and organizing, socializing without chewing on our feet — these are all run by the frontal lobe and they define how we move through our days. How we… function.

My frontal lobe has been wonky lately. I haven’t taken any whacks to the head, no high fevers, no physical reason why it is taking me three times as long to get anything done. Yet here I am, struggling to keep my butt in my chair and put words on the screen. It’s 2pm and I’m just now settling in. I’ve been up for hours, but I haven’t yet eaten. (Caffeine, however, has been applied.) I’ve cleaned the kitchen and taken out recycling. Managed a little personal business. But those were mindless tasks. The things that require focus, the things I’m usually pretty good at, have been escaping me.

Last year was a mess and this year isn’t looking to behave yet. I think we can pretty universally agree on that. A lot of people are trying to find balance. Wherever you land politically, everything is turned upside down. Some of us have been tucked away at home for months, some of us have to be out in the world worrying about too much contact, and some of us don’t believe there’s a problem at all. Yet, we’re all in this together, trying to find out way.

It’s a lot of pressure on our minds.

So what do you do when the skills you’ve relied on suddenly slide into hibernation? When it’s been three days and you haven’t showered because who cares and it sounds so exhausting? When the couch has a divot in the shape of you?

I’ve seen a lot of advice on this and most of it is about honouring the space you’re in, forgiving yourself, taking a nice long rest. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?

Unless you’ve got a gorgeous savings account or someone paying all your bills, that rest isn’t going to benefit you. There are bills to pay, children to care for, and dreams to still chase. You don’t have a choice. You don’t have options. You have to find a way to kickstart your head…

I’m struggling. Last night, I told my wife I’m weary. But I’m trying. Two phrases keep popping into my head…

Climb the mountain one step at a time.

and

You know how to eat an elephant, right? One bite at a time.

They both mean the same thing. Small doses will get you through.

Be kind to you. Take care of your meatsuit. We’ll get there. I have faith in us.

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