Catching Up On Being A Woman

The transitioning learning curve

Discovering that you have been transgender all your life at 60 is a testament to gender ignorance, societal pressures, and the strength of individual denial.

My brain was wired female at birth, inside a male body, and I was socialized as a man.

It’s a lot to confront and unpackage. It has taken years of therapy to break through my massive walls of denial.

Accepting my female gender at this stage of my life has been against every fiber of my being. I still fight it every day. But I also take pleasure in finally knowing the answer to a lifetime of confusion, shame, guilt, and self-rejection.

My female gender has stopped passively accepting my denial. Painful gender dysphoria is proof that I am not male, regardless of my body. Gender dysphoria is my brain telling me that something is wrong that needs to be fixed and it is not waiting any longer.

So off I go down the path of gender discovery. It has been an interesting experience to say the least. I am learning new things every day. They include:

Wow, how do I convince myself that I am a woman with all physical evidence to the contrary, forget about convincing anyone else in my life?

Play the theme from “Mission Impossible” please.

Along this journey I keep exploring what kind of woman am I? God knows there are enough people, religions, and governments that believe I either don’t exist or don’t deserve the right to exist, so they are a useless source of information. Then there are the popular media sources filled with the Kardashians, women’s magazines setting impossible beauty standards, hard-hitting cosmetic advertisements, and the endless parade of beauty experts willing to assault me with their expertise.

On the flip side, there are an almost equal array of anti-beauty women and hardcore feminists that seem to be convincing me that my hairy body without a bra and makeup is the…

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