Famous Archeologist Canceled After Photos Leak of Him at Nazi Rally

Nazis: I love these guys

Does Indiana Jones love snakes, too?

Photos surfaced last week of renowned archeologist Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr., attending a Nazi rally in Germany. Dr. Jones largely built his outsized reputation fighting Nazis, but this revelation casts doubt on the veracity of those stories. Was Indiana Jones a Nazi collaborator all along?

“That is preposterous,” Dr. Marcus Brody said when confronted with the photos. Dr. Brody is Jones’ longtime collaborator, funding his expeditions and employing him as a professor of archeology at Marshall College in Bedford, Connecticut. “Indy was infiltrating the rally, that he might get closer to the head of the snake itself. Give evil the old what for, right betwixt the eyes!”

However, the photographic evidence is conclusive: when Indiana Jones came face-to-face with Adolf Hitler himself, he asked for an autograph.

This is not Dr. Jones’ first brush with scandal. Though he is nominally on staff at Marshall College, Jones primarily travels the globe in search of ancient antiquities, for which he is paid a handsome bounty by Western museums. In the past, some have accused Jones of being a vigilante grave robber, though to this point, his detractors have been few. Most saw the charismatic archeologist as a hero, a throwback to the days when men shaved using flecks of granite and only ate what they killed with their own hands.

The leaked photos mark a drastic sea change in public opinion.

Days after the photos surfaced, Marshall College caved to pressure and placed Dr. Jones on indefinite administrative leave.

Dr. Jones has avoided the public eye and has not returned calls requesting a comment on this story. In a written statement, Dr. Jones claimed the photos were “taken out of context”, and “in no way represent who I am or what I stand for.”

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