Midnight.

It is 29th night of Ramadhan and i want to share how this month going to left an uncommon feeling for me by answering ‘what if..’ question, and it ends with grateful.

What if I treat people better in the past? Maybe, I will have a lot of circles around me. What if I was more mature? Maybe I would not left by people who were care with me. What if could I acknowledge my emotion earlier? Maybe I can control my anger not into people that I loved. What if I did not lay my happy feeling into someone present? Maybe I would not crying alone in many nights.

But I successfully pass it all. My past makes me stand until now. Previous choices make me want to keep learning and not limiting myself. Those memories lead me in a path of loving myself.

The most incredible insight at this stage is ‘fusion of egoism and empathy’. I was afraid of being people pleaser and being selfish person. The battle makes me often doubting myself. But now, when egoism and empathy is arguing, I more relieved because I know that is how I try to create best option for me without mean hurting others. On the other side, some people like to ‘hand-over’ their emotions because they cannot accept inconvenient feelings. Let them find their solution by not have a finger in their pie. Let us set boundaries, by give the space for them to face their problem, support with positive actions, and believe they can conquer it.

And.. yeah.
Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

Related posts:

In order to address the growing challenges of urbanization, major metropolitan hotspots around the world have started their transition into becoming smart cities. Simply put, a smart city is a…

I live in a broken world. If you’ve lived through trauma, you might live here too. It’s shadowy, cold, and unsafe. The floor tilts under your feet. You reach out to grab a hand that isn’t there. You…

How to easily get the optimal num_worker and pin_memory? I modify a script to help you testing out the optimal params automatically . Taking the official ImageNet training in PyTorch as an example: